Many people say they have a “type”—especially when it comes to age. But a new study suggests that when it comes to real-life attraction and chemistry, what people say they want may not match how they actually feel.

Published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the study tracked over 6,000 blind dates arranged through a U.S.-based matchmaking service. The goal: to understand whether age plays the same role in face-to-face attraction as it does in online dating profiles or surveys.

“It isn’t easy to capture real-life romantic attraction for partners who cover a range of ages,” said study author Paul W. Eastwick. “This was the first research question we preregistered: how would the partner’s age affect men’s and women’s attraction, and would people’s stated preferences for a partner’s age matter?”

Participants listed their maximum preferred age for a partner before their date. But matchmakers sometimes paired them with someone slightly older, if other factors—values, goals, personality—aligned well. After each blind date, participants rated their attraction, enjoyment, and interest in a second date.

The results? Across the board, both men and women were slightly more attracted to younger partners, even when the partner exceeded their stated age limit.

This finding challenges a long-standing assumption in dating research: that men prefer younger women for fertility and appearance, while women prefer older men for resources or maturity. That pattern is reflected in global marriage data, where men are typically 3–4 years older than their wives.

But when face-to-face chemistry enters the equation, the study found that both genders shared the same slight preference for youth, and that attraction gradually declined with increasing partner age—regardless of what people said they wanted beforehand.

“It’s quite surprising that the magnitude of the effect is nearly identical for men and women,” Eastwick said.

Importantly, there was no dramatic drop in interest when someone exceeded a participant’s stated maximum age. Instead, attraction declined slowly as age increased, and that slope was the same for men and women alike.

Income didn’t explain the trend either. Whether participants earned more or less—or were paired with high or low earners—the slight tilt toward youth remained.

And even when researchers restricted the sample to women under 40 (to account for potential biological influences on attraction), the pattern held.

While the findings may not radically reshape how people date, they do offer a reminder that what we say we want isn’t always what drives our choices, especially in emotionally dynamic situations like dating.

“What if the ‘couple age difference’ is baked into the dating pool from the start?” Eastwick said. “Young men are not considered viable dating partners until later. Older women may leave the dating pool for various reasons. These factors could create the average age gap in couples—without any deep psychological age preferences driving it.”

Of course, attraction is only one part of long-term compatibility. The study focused on first impressions, not lasting relationships. Still, the data is a reminder that in dating, as in life, it’s sometimes worth questioning the stories we tell ourselves—and staying open to surprise.

So to men out there, don’t feel unwanted or disappointed if you hear women saying they like that trait or this trait and it doesn’t match you. What’s important is we always try to be the best version of yourselves because what they say and what they’ll be attracted may not be aligned.

PW Eastwick et al. No gender differences in attraction to young partners: A study of 4,500 blind dates. PNAS (2025). https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2416984122