A recent study published in the journal Sex Roles highlights the role of vulnerable narcissism in predicting verbal, physical, and indirect bullying among women. Unlike grandiose narcissism, commonly seen in men and characterized by extraversion and dominance, vulnerable narcissism involves introversion, hypersensitivity, and psychological distress; both share entitlement and a willingness to exploit others,

Common traits of vulnerable narcissitic individuals include constant needs for praise and admiration, passive aggression, fear of rejection, lack of empathy, inflated sense of entitlement and self-importance, quick to ridicule others, and surrounding self with superficial relationships. You know, people you find on Instagram and TikTok.

“We were interested in this topic because narcissism is a modern epidemic, yet little is known about narcissism in women. There is also limited research on adult bullying in friendships and the role narcissism plays in this,” said study author  Ava Green.

“Narcissism is a complex personality trait. We all exhibit narcissistic features to varying degrees, which can be expressed in both grandiose and vulnerable forms,” she further explained. “As expected, in our study we found women scored significantly higher on vulnerable narcissism than grandiose narcissism.”

For their study, researchers recruited 314 women aged 18 to 76, who completed an online survey including the Pathological Narcissism Inventory and a bullying questionnaire. The survey assessed physical, verbal, and indirect bullying behaviors, asking participants to indicate how often they engaged in these behaviors in friendships.

Results showed that higher levels of vulnerable narcissism correlated with increased physical and verbal bullying. Grandiose narcissism, while related to bullying, did not uniquely predict it when both types were considered. Vulnerable narcissism explained 10% of the variance in physical bullying and 3.2% in verbal bullying, while grandiose narcissism accounted for less than 1%.

“At first glance, it may be conceivable to interpret the overt forms of bullying as indicative of women exhibiting traits (overt superiority, entitlement, and assertiveness) that do not conform with their expected gender norms. However, although narcissistic women appear to aggress in similar ways as narcissistic men, women’s vulnerable presentation of narcissism may be a more effective disguise to express violence in both indirect and direct ways to acquire and preserve power in friendships, whilst minimizing risks regarding violations of normative expressions. These gendered risk markers may reflect developmental and socialized differences whereby narcissistic women use more tactful and subtle means in their strive for power and status,” Green explained.

So while narcissism is stereotyped often as more grandiose and assertive and linked to men. Women are just as narcissistic as men, but in a different way. It is important for men to be mindful of how these women show up and stay away from forming such relationships with these kinds of personalities.

Gentlemen, remember, not all pretty packages are worth the trouble and those social media posts aren’t what they seem.

A Green and CM Hart. Mean Girls in Disguise? Associations Between Vulnerable Narcissism and Perpetration of Bullying Among Women. Sex Roles (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-024-01477-y