People tend to focus more on disadvantages in their lives than to advantages, a phenomenon known as the “Headwinds/Tailwinds Asymmetry.”

A new study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that people often overlook the advantages they have compared to the challenges they’ve faced. However, they are much better at recognizing the help they receive from others, such as friends, family, and mentors.

The investigators of the study analyzed seven studies with over 1,500 participants to understand how people perceive certain life advantages. Some studies explored whether social norms influenced the recognition of help from others. Another analysis focused on whether these interpersonal advantages were moderated by the strength and visibility of social norms.

The research revealed that not all advantages are seen equally: people tend towards noticing and remembering others who helped them forward rather than hurt them. In addition, people notice the help they receive from people more than favorable, non-interpersonal factors

“The tendency to notice and acknowledge the benefits that come from a person’s relationship is due, at least in part, to a social obligation to do so—a norm that does not apply to privileges that come from non-interpersonal life circumstances,” said author, Julia Smith.

They also found that cooperative environments encourage people to express more gratitude to those who help them; competitive environments, on the other hand, lead people to focus more on their hardships.

The study suggests that if you struggle to feel gratitude, try reflecting on the people who have helped you, as these helpful individuals easily come to mind and will bring out more positive feelings than circumstantial, less personable beneficial experiences.

JM Smith et al. The privileges we do and do not see: the relative salience of interpersonal and circumstantial benefits. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2024). https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672241247083