A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science reveals that women experience higher orgasm rates with female partners compared to male partners, influenced by sexual scripts—socially learned ways of responding in sexual situations.
Prior research shows a significant “orgasm gap” in heterosexual relationships, where 95% of men typically orgasm compared to only 65% of women. This gap narrows in lesbian relationships, where about 86% of women report regularly achieving orgasm. The investigators aimed to explore this disparity by examining expectations and sexual practices in different pairings.
The study recruited 476 women, either heterosexual (59.5%) or lesbian (40.5%), from online platforms. Participants were at least 18 years old and sexually active within the past year. The participants were excluded, and the rest completed questionnaires about their sexual behaviors and experiences.
Both groups equally valued orgasm, but their experiences differed significantly. Lesbian women reported higher levels of clitoral stimulation, which was linked to higher expectations and more active pursuit of orgasms. This increased stimulation contributed to the higher orgasm frequency among lesbian women.
To further understand these dynamics, the researchers conducted an experimental study with 481 bisexual women using vignettes describing sexual scenarios with either a male or female partner. Women imagining a female partner reported higher expectations for clitoral stimulation and orgasm.
“If women, or men partnered with women, want to increase their own or their partners’ orgasm, they should create an environment that encourages orgasm pursuit through diverse sex acts, particularly those involving clitoral stimulation,” stated lead author, Kate Dickman.
“These results could be interpreted to mean that sex with men is inherently worse or that men are ‘bad lovers,’ but that is not necessarily true,” added, co-author, Grace Wetzel. “The problem here is the dominant sexual script associated with heterosexual sex, which does not include sufficient clitoral stimulation or sufficient focus on women’s pleasure. Heterosexual couples can create their own sexual scripts that work for the people involved. Couples can include more clitoral stimulation in their sexual encounters to create sexual relationships that are fulfilling for all partners.”
There you have it gentlemen, to be a good lover you have to be a giver and not be consumed by your own goals.
K Dickman et al. The role of partner gender: how sexual expectations shape the pursuit of an orgasm goal for heterosexual, lesbian, and bisexual Women. Social Psychological and Personality Science (2024). https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506241235235
