While popularity is of something to covet for children and adolescents, the road to popularity may be different. While some people attempt to be prosocial, others may use aggression and disruption to gain the high ground.
A longitudinal study published in Personality and Individual Differences from Florida Atlantic University, revealed that early higher levels of peer-reported aggression and disruptiveness may lead to increases in peer-reported popularity within a school semester.
Researchers analyzed 356 recruited participants between the ages of 8 through 12 a Florida primary school. They completed questionnaires 8-10 weeks apart rating conflicts over issues and nominating classmates that fit certain descriptions.
Regarding aggression, the researchers explained that aggression arises in context of a conflict and when peers have to deal with aggressive children, they may be willing to submit to the situation to avoid harm from the aggressive child, leading to appearance of dominance and popularity.
They found a similar, albeit less pronounced, situation with disruptive children as their peers tend to pacify these people to avoid antagonizing someone who will unsettle the situation to get their way.
The authors also makes known that while conflict is not a means to peer popularity status, it is an effective tool that amplifies attributes of popularity.
“We do not claim that conflicts used in this manner are a healthy avenue to well-being. The consequences of conflict depend on the context, the aims and the ways in which it is managed,” said author, Dr. Brett Laursen. “We do claim, however, that disagreement can be an efficient social strategy that leverages the implicit threat of coercion into dominance, bolstering popularity through reminders rather than actual displays of aggression and disruption.”
As a parent one should be well aware of their children’s behavior with their peers, not just sit their and be proud that your child is popular because in reality, they could be jerks. However, also we should not be too quickly to shut down a kid as these are learning experiences for children amongst their peers regarding the dynamics of society. But clearly, there is a difference between true popularity where people who respect you and false popularity where those who appease you because the despise you or just want something from you, as the latter is an unsustainable situation leading eventual rebellion or abandonment, respectively. This is true for children as well as adults.
M. Yoho et al. Conflict moderates the longitudinal association between aggression with classmates and popularity: leveraging disagreements into peer status. Personality and Individual Differences. DOI:10.1016/j.paid.2022.111538
