Toxic masculinity is thinking you can power your way out of a breakup and ignoring your mental unease. Without reassessing our resiliency skills and thinking stereotypical masculinity mindsets will get men out of their rut only leads to more trouble, such as being at a quadruple risk of suicide in the face of marital collapse.
New study published in SSM-Qualitative Research in Health from researchers out of University of British Columbia (UBC) found that men that are transitioning out of romantic relationships are at an increased risk of mental unease states such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation.
UBC researchers interviewed 47 men about their experience in breakdown with an intimate partner exploring three themes: 1) the trouble inside, 2) breaking up and breaking down, 3) finding help. “The trouble inside” included many mental stressors and how such stressors flowed from relationship transitions which seeded and fueled distressed partnerships. “Breaking up and breaking down” reviewed the process by which the relationship broke down. “Finding help” was just that, how did these men go about getting of their mental despair from the break up.
“Most men experienced the onset or worsening of mental illness symptoms during a distressed relationship or following the breakdown of a relationship,” says the study’s lead author Dr. John Oliffe.
Besides the actual relationship, many men were also concerned with increased anxiety from less access to children, financial challenges, and decreased social connections. Such emotions men experienced included anger, regret, sadness, shame, and guilt.
The researchers found that stereotyped masculinity played a role in men’s reaction to collapsing relationships. One such example is avoidance of conflict through isolation.
Furthermore, many men took the pitiful way out of the unpleasant situation of a breakup by turning towards substance abuse, particularly that of alcohol to cope with such negative emotions. Another issue the researchers found was that men tend to wait until the crisis has occurred before seeking help.
However, on a positive note, the study found that many men reach through a diverse set of tools to help them get out of their rut and solve their mental health issues, including: exercise, reading, self-help, social networks, and support groups. In addition, men put in a lot of effort to move on from their break ups, and were interested in understanding their role in how the relationship ended. How very contemplative.
The study shows that men’s mental health is strongly affected by relationship break ups and attempts to utilize stereotypical masculinity traits may be more harmful.
As a magazine and website tailored towards the benefit of men, our health, our sovereignty, and our evolution, creating heal thing resiliency skills and tools to go to is a primary objective. The study had many cases which will be looked into detail in a future date.
JL Oliff et al. Masculinity and mental illness in and after men’s intimate partner relationships. SSM-Qualitative Research in Health 20022. Vol 2. 100039. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmqr.2022.100039
